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Joyful Creative Life Blog Articles
Written & Illustrated by: Tanya J. de Wet

I Used to “Suck” at Failures

Updated: Feb 22, 2023

On this creative journey I learned to mourn my failures instead of covering them up with a plaster of positivity! I’ve run into many failures & usually, I’d get p…ed off with myself, give myself a really hard “talking to”, stick on my positive plaster & start swimming up the stream of problems with gaping wounds.


Never once did I wait long enough to heal.

Never once did I wait for the mourning process to give me clarity on the failures…


Clarity on the mourning process? What are you talking about mourning the failures?


Yes, mourn them!


I wanted to ignore the failures. Try a different route. Let the stressful situations hide under the plaster of festering positivity!



Thinking back, I just dusted off the debris & climbed right back up on the horse. I never looked back for a second. I forced, tried different ways, kept on keeping on!


Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?


Sure, if you want to end up sick & stressed; go for it tough cookie!


I was a tough cookie for a very long time. I’d fail at something, neglect my feelings, forget to take care of myself & moved on for the sake of progress. Never once did I allow anything to hinder my so-called growth; until the day I had an anxiety attack & found myself strapped to a monitor.


You may ask: “Why didn’t you stop when you saw the first signs of stress?”


Who me?

Stress? I don’t stress, I’m a go-getter who always finds the best route out of failure!


There are no signs when you are blind my dear friends. And even if I could see them, I might have been too stubborn to actually acknowledge that. Yes, before this fateful day, I was in fact one huge stress ball made up of thin strands of elastics. The kind you found inside the old golf balls.... Have you seen those? It was the same, every time you’d touch the tightly wound-up elastics, they would snap at your fingers & bounce all over the place when you dropped them. These failures were rolled into a knotted of stress... this ball of tied up tension was just about ready to explode…

& wait for it as the story gets even better; I ignored all the signs & worked myself into total exhaustion, burnout & anxiety!


The most difficult thing was that I had to come to a complete standstill in order to admit this to myself. I had to hit that brick wall! And once it happened, I had to step back, look at this ugly thing in order to see it head on before I saw my greatest weed ever.


At last I could admit "I was defeated!!!!" <there, I said it> I finally reached the point of no return & gave in long enough to let someone, in this case, a few people help me...


I learnt a great deal of wisdom from all of it. With my broken, half-healed heart I was set on reaching greatness in this lifetime, come hell or high water.

Embarking on studying how the mind works, why we get ourselves into these situations & why our human nature can be so forgiving towards others at times, but as hard as brick on ourselves?


These questions & hundreds of others gave me the clear direction of becoming a self-taught Artist with the sole (Soul) purpose of healing myself & the other half-healed heart out in the world.


I needed to know so many things; like, why so few ever reached greatness & other things like, what the rest of the humans were doing to keep themselves stuck!


Sometimes I read books on self-development & I invested hours on Self-Mastery to implement the stuff I learned. At times they took months to get going, but I knew I never wanted to get stuck in any situation again were I couldn't save myself first. I wanted to find my own path with the failures hitching a ride in the back of my mind with their valuable lessons learned.


You see, I didn’t know how I did it! I didn’t know how I picked myself up all those times…


Do you know when the revelation became real?


When I sat down long enough to calm the wild beautiful mind & help myself along the way. In truth, this is what we all need to do… There is a time to accept help, then to sit down & deal with all the “shizz” we’ve created for ourselves. I think it is about time to reveal that I'm working on updating the "Overcome the Dream Crushing Weeds pdf" into a workbook that can appeal to many more people, not only Artists.


It wasn’t “them” doing anything to me & it wasn’t “those” things that held me back.


Oh no, it was just me in denial & a ton of unresolved emotions. I didn’t mourn my failures… I didn’t admit to needing help… I wiggle myself deeper into trauma by burying my emotions in hard work, instead of taking care of the whole person, from my mind to my body straight into the Soul, it had to be the whole human or nothing.


I’m telling you; this was the greatest revelation of my entire life.


We create the "shizz" & as much as others can help us, it's only our efforts that can push our best selves out into the world.


No-one can be you, that is your job!


There is no point in getting back on the proverbial horse if you are still suffering from the injuries of the fall. Herein is the maturity:

- develop a strategy whereby you can evaluate the failures

- have enough brains to rest & mourn the loss

- stop all negativity by being compassionate with yourself

- know when to let go & get someone to help you

- release the burden of thinking a defeat is bad

- forgive yourself, you did the best you could with what you had


When "Next Time" comes around,

You'll start with higher thinking, better life skills & improved tools


This is where my ongoing studies in solutions for Whole Human Wellbeing began.


I knew that if I could help myself over & over again, I can help others too. But it had to be fun for me to do & for you to want to do!


So, today I’m writing this Blog Article from my comfy chair & the serene sounds of birds in the backyard, because in the pursuit of Self-Mastery I've learned the important things about life, failures & work:

Knowing when to push a little harder to get the job done...

When a deep breath brings clarity...

How to allow others to help me...

And adjust concepts long before trouble comes around...


This may have been the greatest gift to myself as I now value the powerful energy of rest.


I could say that writing is one of the more peaceful creative expressions I’ve learned to use. It broadened my Mind, gave rest to my Body & nurtured my Soul in a way that is still as much fun as painting. I'm also not in a hurry today (the 16th of November 2022) to send it out to you either, because today I am finding serenity. I’ll send out this Blog Article when I’m ready to share this story with you. Simply because I must take care of me first... and hopefully you are too busy taking care of yourself too, to notice.


Do you know what the first rule in an emergency is? To save yourself first!


It sounds logical now, but for a long time, I was the last person on my "who-to-save" list. Maturity, or shall we say wisdom came to the rescue when I was wise enough to know when to save myself first & when to save others...


Here we are Creative Hearts, in this journey that begins with saving yourself first.


If today feels like an epiphany, then join me as I sit here on my comfy chair to find a moment for my Serenity once more. Once I've poured out my story, I'm going to take a few days to mourn my own recent failure & reflect in order to learn the lessons I need to move forward.


Looking back, I realized how many resources I needed to acquire

& feel a deep desire to make all of it as accessible as possible to you on your journey.


Andso, this is where we stand in the moments between failures, stress, overwhelm & serenity with a glimmer in a hopeful heart...

learning how to create a life so beautiful that we only want the best for ourselves & others


Not because we are selfish & put ourselves first, but because of our value in the world. Knowing how valuable we all are reflects how much we all need love and joy!


There are questions I can ask you today, like:

When are you going to let go long enough to mourn your failures?

When will forgiveness come into your life to show you what love & compassion is?

When are you going to fill the gaps between stuck & success to let someone help you?


I know the answer, I had to learn it the hard way... the painful way


“When you are tired enough

to let go just that little bit to feel the emotions.


That is when Failure becomes a lesson

& Joy sees a way to return to you.


Not from a place of hurt & defeat,

but from a place of serenity…

Serenity from within is the place you use a lesson to fill the gap!”


Tanya J. de Wet



Taming “The Wild Beautiful - stubborn - Mind” from within granted me access to step into a higher version of myself. One where I wasn’t void of failure, but could heal from the lesson therein. To be compassionate towards myself. This renew, healed version of me was able to grab onto a Creative Connection that helped me build the life I wanted live in.


When we talk about our life’s purpose, that is what I’m here to teach!

Whole Human Wellness & I’m doing it through Serenity!


Just stop long enough today & jump back into the Sketchbook Retreat



Relaxing for a few minutes before you tackle the day may inspire you to face the failures through the quiet moments

I can give you an easy resources to start a little creative journey in a Sketchbook with the aim to Retreat at home whenever you want to relax a little



This short practice can help you find a quiet moment to think, reflect & let go just enough... to let in the possibility for healing,

to mourn the failures,

for finding a moment of peace in a wild mind,

to catch the fresh ideas from clarity,

to face the failures & cry over them,

And for the most part… to just give yourself a break for once!



Find your way to the sketchbook Retreat to allow this Creative Journey to begin. And, maybe if you don’t feel like doing anything, maybe listen to the video lessons & be guided to rest on your comfy chair or take a nap in the middle of the day!


No longer do you have to take “fluff-filled” courses or waste your time sifting through the endless pieces of irrelevant information out there, you can simply come home to our little corner of Joy!



I’m available to you to close the gap between where you are & where you want to be by providing you with ALL of the resources you need within the Self-Mastery Membership & Community space.




To overcome Failures there is a real need for inner self-mastery & why I want to help you get to the point in your life where you’ll be content with yourself & live the life of your dreams.


Are you in a place in your life where you can build the life you want to live in?

Let’s take one day at a time to move forward

Much Love

Tanya

xo


PS: “It is impossible to get to the heart of those gut-wrenching failures unless you have felt them, lived them, mourned them, taken their lessons & grew from them. It’s funny how healing comes when you’ve given your heart time to grieve the failures by letting go for a while… letting the emotions flow freely & really mourning the moments of defeat. Do this & you can stand in wisdom when you say, I know, I lived it!


My admiration of the woman I’ve become stands not in ego, but in the wisdom accumulated while the many failures made the gap to greatness so much smaller. I urge you, mourn your failures, cry & grieve over them… it’s going to give you closure so that you can gain clarity to move on & try a different version of it or just get back on the horse again with healed wounds.'"



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